I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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