dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
