ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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