she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
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According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You don't make any sense
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