Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
