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• (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said candy land and then passed out.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.

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• (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head

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