I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
