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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can i not drive my cunt home

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.

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• (925): View more from California

  I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.

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