I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker