you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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