absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
