So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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