We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
