elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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