i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize