we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need to calm my uterus...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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