On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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