Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dear god my vagina.
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