We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
