Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
