dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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