your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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