We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
