he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
