I hate all girls vehemently.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize