Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
