; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
