On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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