i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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