I love black thongs
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
