We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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