Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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