I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
