That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
NoShamevember. You game?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
