Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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