Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
