Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
