well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
