I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
