We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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