I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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