he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have so many feelings about this burrito
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
