sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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