I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its not stalking. its research.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
