I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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