remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
