Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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