I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
