She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
