I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's blow job season.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
