he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
