he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
