I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
