Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
