Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize