How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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