He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
