so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better