Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.

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(727): View more from Florida

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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(208): View more from Idaho

You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

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(646): View more from New York

Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas

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(416): View more from Toronto

Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better

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