you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.