did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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