you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
