Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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