apparently the secret to your success is patron
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love you. Go after that dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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