she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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