I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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