i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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