The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
