I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
