Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
