dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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